Weekend Update

After a long, hard (ha, I said long and hard in the same sentence) week of work, I found myself on call Christmas Eve and Day. Not the end of the world considering my relationship status. I worked late on the Eve and went in for a little while on the Day. It helped keep me distracted. Loot? I got some underwear, a check from my Dad and my sister sent me a nice shirt from the Gap. Nothing too exciting, but at least I don't have to get out in the traffic to return stuff that I don't want or doesn't fit.

Saturday was pretty productive. I took the dogs to the park. They haven't been walked or had the chance to play in almost a week. It was a little muddy, but they didn't make to much of a mess. Note to self: I really need to clean the back seat of my car. I HAD to have a haircut, but apparently December 26 is a national holiday for most barbers. Had to settle for a new guy. I thought he was gonna croak the entire time he was cutting my hair. I kept thinking "chief, when you die, don't lean forward with the clippers please." I went to the gym for an hour and then to the hockey game that night.

L ended up being out of town, so I didn't take her to the game. Not a big loss. There is something about her that doesn't sit right with me anyway. I asked R to go instead. This was our first time out and I was fairly impressed. She is a baseball fan, so even though she is new to hockey, she asked appropriate questions about the game. I think she was yanking my chain when she said "can I just root for the hotties on the team?" She got points for drinking a beer at a sporting event (each type of alcohol has an appropriate venue in my opinion, wine is for dinner, liquor is for bars, beer at sporting events) and then got a bonus point for finishing hers before I finished mine. She only had one, so it's also nice to know that her liver is probably in decent shape. At one point in the game, the Preds turned over the puck and I loudly said "Fudge" trying to be polite and gentlemanly. She looked at me out of the corner of her eye and said "you can do better than that" and then made a comment about how one of the cheerleaders had great tits and a great ass so she must be deficient somewhere else. That put me at ease because I knew I didn't have to watch my language or my twisted sense of humour with her.

I took her home and she was in no hurry to get out of the car. We sat and chatted in her driveway for another thirty minutes. I believe that's a sign that she isn't completely disgusted by me, which is nice because I think I'd like to see her again. Any girl that likes baseball and drinks beer is ok in my book, even if she is a Red Sox fan.

Today, I desperately need to clean house and do laundry. The dogs really should get a bath as well, but that is such an event. I'm not sure I will get to it.

I work four days straight again this week, but no call for New Years Eve. I'm not really a New Years kinda fella anyway. It always feels like just a bunch of power drinkers when I go out, so I will probably stay home.

A Pretty Tame Weekend

I was pretty tired from work Friday night, so I just kinda chilled out, iced my back and watched TV. Saturday I went to the gym and ran a couple of miles while I watched the Preds beat Calgary on the tube. Watching hockey really makes the time on the treadmill pass fast, but when Pete Weber, the on air color man, referred to a missed Flames goal as "premature flaming" I almost fell off the damn treadmill laughing so hard.

I had a date Saturday night. I took her to Allium for dinner and was pleasantly surprised. I had bacon/pear cream sauce gnocchi for starters and finished with chicken and pistachio pasta. Interesting use of pistachio. We then went back to my place to watch movies, until we both got sleepy and she went home. She's interesting in a "we have the same sense of humor" kind of way, but once again, no chemistry on my end. I'm gonna give her one more try next Saturday and take her to the hockey game, but I don't think she is what I'm looking for in a partner.

I've finished my Christmas shopping, such as it was. Everything is mailed or ordered. I can't complain this year. I didn't really have much to do. Bright side to everything I guess. Christmas week will be long for me. I work four tens in a row and then finish it off by being on call Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Again, the bright side is that I won't have much time to feel sorry for myself.

On a more down note, my golden retriever, Daisy, has found something very, very smelly in the back yard that she likes to get into. I've watched her several times when I've let her out, and of course she never goes to it when I'm watching her. It's getting to the point were I have to give her a sponge bath every time I let her out. I tell her that she's being bad, but she just wags her tell and says "but I smell so good."

What? Tuesday Already?

I'm winding down a long four day weekend. I tried to stay busy. Actually had a couple of dates, neither anything to get excited about and went to a dinner party on Sunday. It turned out that I was the only male that showed up! At first glance, that would seem to be a good thing, right? But when the conversation is dominated by women, it tends to get uninteresting. Men never debate the merits of Mariah Carey's Christmas album!

I'm doing ok I guess. Friday was a rough day, but every day gets a little better. I still have quite a bit of Christmas shopping to do and the really sucky part about it is that I have to mail everything so I need to wrap this up pretty quick. I wonder how late I can put stuff in the mail and still expect it to be there by Christmas.

This will be a long couple of weeks for me. I work four days this week, get the weekend off then work four days in a row next week and it ends with me being on call Christmas Eve and Day. It will be my first Christmas alone, ever, but I'm gonna try to make the best of it and spend some quality time with my dogs. They are getting quite a bit of attention lately.

Yep

Four years ago tonight I kissed her for the first time. It wasn't worth it.

And So It Goes

I've mentioned Kris here once or twice. I've been going out with her for a couple of months. She is sweet, kind, laid back, attractive, hard working and has a great sense of humour. As a bonus, she loves my dogs and often brings them treats when she comes over, or at least when she used to come over.

We were supposed to go to her job's Christmas party yesterday, but around noon she sent me an email. Basically she was asking if I was interested in being more than buddies. She said she would feel silly if she thought we were dating and I didn't.

I have always been determined to be honest with her. From the very beginning I told her that it was probably too soon for me to be dating, that my head was some place else. So I told her the truth. I said I thought we were dating because we went out on dates, but, in spite of all of the fun that we have and how much I enjoy her company, I just didn't feel that "spark". You know, the feeling you have when you just can't get enough of somebody. Chemistry I guess.

She took it hard. I've known for a while that she feels differently about me than I do about her. It's been pretty obvious and others have commented on it. She canceled our plans for Saturday night and said she would call me later in the week. I'm not really broken up over it, which says a lot, but I feel bad for hurting her feelings. I know what it's like.

I think I did the right thing. The alternative would have been to basically lie to her and tell her what I knew she wanted to hear. But that would have been disastrous down the road. I hope she finds the person she deserves.

I'm So Happy I Can't Stop Crying

Drinking Alone Makes Me Sad

I had a pretty long day at work and my plan for the evening was to have a drink, watch the hockey game and write an amusing anecdote about a trip to Six Flags with my parents when I was a kid.

Well, the bourbon and coke was very strong and it wasn't long before the blues kicked into gear, so I'm going to write about how sad I really am.

I miss so much. I miss her waking up and coming to me all sleepy for her morning hug. I miss the excitement of shopping for her for Christmas. I miss her goofy little dance when she is singing along to her music. I miss the face she makes when somebody mentions Taylor Swift. I miss her tucking me in at night. I miss kissing her after a goal is scored at the hockey game. I miss seeing her smile. I miss her smell. I miss feeling like I belonged to somebody. I miss her pestering me about the next vacation when we haven't taken the one we paid for yet. I miss feeling good about myself when I fix something for her. I miss her saying "oopsie." I miss her love. I miss all of this and more.

I have to keep telling myself that no matter how much I miss her, she is gone. Never coming back. I don't think I've ever been this sad.