Sunday, August 22, 2010

I'm Here

So here I am! Where is that you say? At Kitten's house. She brought a friend down Saturday morning, we loaded the truck, I met the landlord and got my deposit, and three hours later, I no longer live in Nashville.

Many, many thanks to Kitten's friend. The man is a truck loading machine. I kept thinking "Damn, I've got the truck for two days. Why is he working so hard?" I swear he did 75% of the work. Kitten cleaned house while we loaded and she did a fantastic job. I don't think the house was ever that clean since I moved it. In fact, I know it wasn't.

So, I'm gonna look for work this week. I'm gonna spend a lot of time on the phone and take a few resumes to hospitals. I hope something turns up fairly quick. I've got some money saved, but not a ton. Of course I don't want to go to work too quick. After all, we are going to New Orleans for Labor Day. Can't have a job interfering with that endeavor!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

From Shit My Dad Says

someecards.com - Look, we're basically on earth to shit and fuck. So unless your job's to help people shit or fuck, it's not that important, so relax.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Sparky

It's a little cliche, like something from "Animal House", but everybody in my fraternity ended up with a nickname. If you were unlucky, your nick was derived from something stupid you did or survived. I drew "Chunk" because I threw up.....a lot. There was "Thud" which happened to be the sound one would hear when he would pass out. Some were saddled with names appropriate to their looks or personality like "Lurch" and "Useless".

Then there was Sparky.

I don't remember how Sparky got his nickname. He did a lot of stupid shit, but none of it involved fire or electricity. Sparky started out as the brightest of the group. Grades were a big deal when we were pledges and the first quarter at UT found Sparky at the top of our pledge class. It was all down hill from there.

Alcohol played a big part of it, but I felt like Sparky lost interest in bettering himself somewhere along the line. The first hint of real trouble was when he got arrested for public indecency. He and some girl were bumping nasties in the middle of a park when the police stumbled upon them mid coitus. Sparky, ever the gentleman, apparently jumped up and started running. I assume the girl did as well, we never did find out what happened to her. Anyway, Sparky, being drunk, ran until he was caught and got far enough from the scene of the crime that he couldn't remember where he had left his clothes. He was hauled to jail au natural and returned to us the next day in an orange Knox County jumpsuit.

Later in his academic career he was kicked out of a final because he was covered in his own vomit. Sparky had a theory that as long as you took the test in the same condition that you studied for the test, your performance would not suffer. Sparky studied drunk and tested drunk. He flunked out at the end of his sophomore year.

Sparky's last night at UT was spent with Guns and Roses. He would put on Sweet Child O' Mine and crank the stereo to eleven. Because it sounded better, he borrowed another housemates electric guitar and accompanied Slash........poorly. This was all done while inebriated and in the dark and over and over and over again. I still cringe every time I hear the opening bars to Sweet Child O' Mine.

We didn't hear from Sparky after he left school. It wasn't until almost ten years later that I ran into him. I had moved to a small town in West Tennessee and had a hankerin' for a pizza one night. Sparky delivered my pizza to me. A thirty-something year old drop out that had never really recovered from his half assed attempt at education. Sparky wanted to socialize, but I didn't think that would be prudent. What could we possibly have in common? Call it snobbery or elitism or whatever, but it was obvious to me that our paths had diverged in a way that made it impossible for the two of us to connect on any meaningful level. The short hand of our conversations would have sounded something like "Hey! Remember the time...."

I don't know what made me think about Sparky tonight. I only hope that somewhere Sparky has parked his pizza truck and is knocking back some cold ones while Sweet Child O' Mine is cranking on the stereo and I hope he doesn't think I'm a douche.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Goals

Step 1. Quit job.

Step 2. Pack house.

Step 3. Move to Indiana to live with girlfriend.

Step 4. Find a new job.

Step one is complete! I am currently unemployed. Today was my last day. I threatened to cuss everybody out, grab a couple of beers, and jump down the inflatable escape slide. Nobody took me seriously. I guess I left off of my list the fact that I have to obtain an Indiana license. It's a serious pain in the ass. I have to go to the police station next week to get finger printed!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Is This Thing On?

Kitten and I got back from Vegas on Sunday and now I need a vacation from our vacation! Thursday, we got off of the plane, grabbed a bite to eat and then went to see the show that Kitten picked out. Blue Man Group! I've seen them before, but this time we had tickets in the second row. If you go see Blue Man, get seats as close as possible. I've never gotten as many laughs out of it as I did this time. By the time the show was over, we were all laughed out and exhausted. It was 2 a.m. my time and 3 a.m. Kitten's time. We practically passed out.
Friday morning, we finally woke up and went over to get discount tickets for the next two nights. Kitten wanted to see a Cirque du Soleil show and all they had were tickets for Zumanity and Love. Since I had seen Love last year, we settled on Zumanity. Again on the second row! See it if you haven't, but see it with somebody you love. It definitely puts you in the mood for some freaky freaky! We had planned on creating our own mood, but due to an accident involving water and a pair of battery operated underwear, our plans didn't work out like we had hoped. Zumanity managed to make up for it. I completely skipped over the fact that we spent he entire day at the pool sipping Red Stripes and soaking up sun. All and all, Friday was a fantastic day.
Saturday began at the pool again. Heineken this time. We roasted all day, people watched and got snookered. After having dinner at a nice french restaurant (mmmm.......escargot) we went to see the show that we picked out the day before. I had first seen Cheap Trick almost 25 years ago and now they were in Vegas performing the Beatles! They played Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band in it's entirety with a few extra Beatles tunes thrown in at the end and then wrapped the whole thing up with their own hits. It was a fantastic show and Kitten managed to catch quite a few of the paper hearts that showered the crowd at the end.
We got back to Nashville pretty early on Sunday, picked up my dogs and bathed them. Sunday night was spent just enjoying each other and then Monday Kitten went home. Soon it will be my home too, but more on that later. As for now? Viva Las Vegas!