The Joy Of Flying Part Deux

My sister reminded me of the first time I used a FedEx jump seat. I hopped a plane after work one night (approximately 3 a.m.) for a quick trip to Boca Raton, FL. for my nephew's christening. I was tired and sleepy having just finished the sort and quickly dozed off. I woke up about two hours later and quickly proceeded to panic. The cockpit was dark except for the blinking lights on the control panels, some kind of shade had been drawn across the windows, and to my horror, both pilots were asleep! Not just "head drooped forward" asleep. These guys were serious about their nap time. They had taken their shoes off, their ties were loose and the co-pilot was snoring! I gripped my seat in terror and bit my tongue. You can't piss off the pilots because it only takes one to ban you from ever using the jump seats again. The plane seemed to be flying straight and level so I just kept my vigil, ready to jump over the pilot and grab the yoke of the aircraft in case of emergency.

This went on for the majority of the flight. I watch drool slowly drip it's clingy stream from the co-pilots gaping, snoring maw. Eventually, the plane began to turn and suddenly the pilots snapped awake. They quickly adjusted their clothing, began flipping switches and removed the drape from the windows. Sweet, sweet daylight. We landed without incident and I spent the next couple of days at my sister's house lounging beside her screened in pool (I know, I know, who puts a screen around a pool? Apparently the bug problem is that bad.). It was several months before I flew again and you know how that trip turned out. I will say that I believe the old adage "ignorance is bliss" holds true for flying. You don't want to know what the pilots are doing in the cockpit.

I guess I should have posted this trip first, but the truth of the matter is that the horror of crapping my pants during an emergency landing blocked out the terror of waking up to find the pilots asleep.

Rock on.