Dude

I recently turned forty and my doctor told me "It's that time." Time for what? Time for yearly physicals, where men finally understand the dread of a visit to the doctor's office. I peed, got my blood drawn, had an EKG, and a chest X-ray. The doc asked me about my sleep habits, my sex life ("Bat, how is your sex life?" "Well, it depends on who you ask doc.") and my diet. He then stood up and said "I'm gonna apologize in advance, but it's time to check your prostate."

*Sigh* I mean I knew it was coming, but I certainly wasn't looking forward to it. He stands up and grabs some rubber gloves, making that snapping sound as he pulls them onto his hands. He then looks around the room and into a couple of drawers. "This room doesn't seem to have any K-Y."

My response. "DUDE!!!!!"

He gives me a sideways glance. "Don't worry. We'll find something."

"DUUUUDDE!!!!!"

"Oh, here it is."

An audible "whew" from me and then a relived "Dude."

When it was all said and done, he says "I feel like I was in some weird Bud Light commercial."

I said "Did you just say BUTT LIGHT!!!!"

He then sent me down the hall to have my hearing checked.