I Am Not Gay!
Homosexuals don't bother me a bit. Hell, I love me some lesbians, I think I might be one. As for the guys, the more the merrier, it just leaves more women for me.
I work with a bunch of guys that will tease you mercilessly if they think you might be the least bit homophobic. They will speak to you in a lisp, ask you if you need your stool pushed up, or offer to shave your hairy marmot. All in an effort to make you uncomfortable if you have a problem with homosexuals. It makes me laugh my ass off (no pun intended). Most of the times I've been around a group of guys, I've noticed this kind of behavior. I'm not sure if it is an attempt to smoke out the homosexuals or if it's just to aggravate the truly homophobic. Either way, I find it highly entertaining. Don't get me wrong. I worry that it might offend somebody of that sexual orientation, but my experience has been that there are just as many hetero jokes told by gays and most of them have a sense of humor and won't hesitate to play along. I could be wrong.
I was walking down the hall today when I heard my name called. CTRob was at the other end of the hall yelling my name.
"Chunk!"
"What's up CTRob?"
At the top of his voice he yells down the hall, "I wish I knew how to quit you!"
I laughed for thirty minutes solid. Tears were in my eyes. I haven't seen the movie, but like most, I have been exposed to the movie clips and advertisements. I thought it was hilarious. A known homophobe was standing in a doorway when it happened and I saw his face scrunch up in disgust. Of course, this made me laugh harder.
So that was the joke of the day. Any man I'd see in a crowd today I'd yell "Yo! I wish I knew how to quit you!" It got a couple of laughs.
So I'm moving down the hall with a patient and see the doctor I work with talking to the CEO of the company. This is where my mouth works faster than my brain. The CEO looks away from his conversation and makes eye contact with me. Before I could put the brakes on my mouth I blurt out "I wish I knew how to quit you!" The doctor knew what I was talking about, the CEO looked a little puzzled. I will let you know tomorrow if I still have a job.
I work with a bunch of guys that will tease you mercilessly if they think you might be the least bit homophobic. They will speak to you in a lisp, ask you if you need your stool pushed up, or offer to shave your hairy marmot. All in an effort to make you uncomfortable if you have a problem with homosexuals. It makes me laugh my ass off (no pun intended). Most of the times I've been around a group of guys, I've noticed this kind of behavior. I'm not sure if it is an attempt to smoke out the homosexuals or if it's just to aggravate the truly homophobic. Either way, I find it highly entertaining. Don't get me wrong. I worry that it might offend somebody of that sexual orientation, but my experience has been that there are just as many hetero jokes told by gays and most of them have a sense of humor and won't hesitate to play along. I could be wrong.
I was walking down the hall today when I heard my name called. CTRob was at the other end of the hall yelling my name.
"Chunk!"
"What's up CTRob?"
At the top of his voice he yells down the hall, "I wish I knew how to quit you!"
I laughed for thirty minutes solid. Tears were in my eyes. I haven't seen the movie, but like most, I have been exposed to the movie clips and advertisements. I thought it was hilarious. A known homophobe was standing in a doorway when it happened and I saw his face scrunch up in disgust. Of course, this made me laugh harder.
So that was the joke of the day. Any man I'd see in a crowd today I'd yell "Yo! I wish I knew how to quit you!" It got a couple of laughs.
So I'm moving down the hall with a patient and see the doctor I work with talking to the CEO of the company. This is where my mouth works faster than my brain. The CEO looks away from his conversation and makes eye contact with me. Before I could put the brakes on my mouth I blurt out "I wish I knew how to quit you!" The doctor knew what I was talking about, the CEO looked a little puzzled. I will let you know tomorrow if I still have a job.
posted by Bat at 5:06 PM
9 Comments:
Um, Chunk, someone needs to point out... If the known homophobe can quote the movie, his own sexuality is ambiguous. :D
I'm NOT a homophobe. At all!!! I've had plenty of gay friends. Hmmm.....maybe you are right tho.
Nono... Not you. You are The Chunk. :D Hey, you're the one who proclaimed a fan club ;)
ANYway. I meant the guy in the hall... I thought it was hilarious. A known homophobe was standing in a doorway when it happened and I saw his face scrunch up in disgust.
If he's a known homophobe, how come he knows the reference?
Ohhhhh. Damn, I think I'm phobic about being homophobic. He knows about it 'cause of course every GIRL in my department wants to see the gay cowboy movie and he can't help but overhear the conversations. Or, he is in the closet and has gone to multiple midnight showings. Alone. Sitting in the back. In the dark. 'Nuff said.
I guess I'm going to have to watch this movie. I'm not a huge fan of cowboys, but I was a fag hag for quite some time. The two together must be spectacular!
I hope you still have your job and I also hope the CEO finds a sense of humor.
"n attempt to smoke out the homosexuals"
Haha...this sounds like something a bunch of guys would do. What would it really matter if there were homosexuals around you? Sexual harrassment rules still apply. They're not going to come onto you.
Men are so insecure in their sexuality. :)
On that note, though, I would have laughed at the movie reference too. I probably would have slapped myself if I'd said it to the CEO! That's a big Oops!
Just stopping by to say hi. Big Big Hug's!!!!!
too funny...
let us know about the job... :)
peace...
yea I'm gay and u made me laugh buddy. I haven't seen it either, yet!
Happy HNT (er yea I know im in the wrong post but this one was deserving a comment)
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