Lesbians Crack Me Up
A few years back, when I was still in nursing school, I had a clinical instructor that was a lesbian. Let's call her Ms. C. She normally taught ob/gyn (go figure), but was helping out with the med/surg rotation. When I got assigned to her, I was juiced. She was hilarious and unlike some of the other lesbians teaching in the school (there seemed to be a large percentage of lesbian instructors), she didn't seem to have a problem with men in nursing. Actually, I think she liked me and I know that I respected her opinion and often sought her guidance when I had a problem.
Of course, the girls I went to school with were uncomfortable with her as an instructor. I think it was mostly because they were young and just didn't have much experience outside their "Betty Bow Head" world. I'm sure that Ms. C sensed it, she was a smart woman, but I never once heard her verbalize it.
One day, Ms. C called us into a patient's room. I was the only male and there were about six young women, all much, much younger than I. The patient was a semi-comatose female, about forty years of age and we began to run down her list of ailments. Ms. C would stop us and quiz us on the pertinent facts, something we were used to and for the most part we were quick to give her satisfactory answers.
Ms. C pointed out that the patient suffered from bowel incontinence. She looked at the group and said "Can anyone tell me what is the cause of her incontinence." You could see the wheels turning in everybody's head and a couple of the Betty Bow Heads would open their mouth and then quickly close it, signifying that they had an idea, but were pretty sure it was the wrong answer.
She let this go on for a bit, looking at each of us in turn, raising and lowering her eyebrows. Eventually, she leaned forward slightly and we knew that she was tired of waiting for an answer and was going to spoon feed us the information. The Bettys whipped out their pens, ready to jot down the words of wisdom that were about to be imparted to us.
Ms. C, with a steady, low voice, never taking her eyes off of us spoke:
"To much ass fucking!"
To this day, I haven't decided what was funnier, Ms. C's diagnosis, or the looks of horror on the Betty's faces when they were confronted by something so repulsive to them. I know that Ms. C was having a bit of fun with them, but she never told them any different and I saw many of them slowly write that piece of information in their notebooks. I wonder how many of them refuse to have anal sex today for fear of losing bowel control.
Good night Ms. C, where ever you are.
Of course, the girls I went to school with were uncomfortable with her as an instructor. I think it was mostly because they were young and just didn't have much experience outside their "Betty Bow Head" world. I'm sure that Ms. C sensed it, she was a smart woman, but I never once heard her verbalize it.
One day, Ms. C called us into a patient's room. I was the only male and there were about six young women, all much, much younger than I. The patient was a semi-comatose female, about forty years of age and we began to run down her list of ailments. Ms. C would stop us and quiz us on the pertinent facts, something we were used to and for the most part we were quick to give her satisfactory answers.
Ms. C pointed out that the patient suffered from bowel incontinence. She looked at the group and said "Can anyone tell me what is the cause of her incontinence." You could see the wheels turning in everybody's head and a couple of the Betty Bow Heads would open their mouth and then quickly close it, signifying that they had an idea, but were pretty sure it was the wrong answer.
She let this go on for a bit, looking at each of us in turn, raising and lowering her eyebrows. Eventually, she leaned forward slightly and we knew that she was tired of waiting for an answer and was going to spoon feed us the information. The Bettys whipped out their pens, ready to jot down the words of wisdom that were about to be imparted to us.
Ms. C, with a steady, low voice, never taking her eyes off of us spoke:
"To much ass fucking!"
To this day, I haven't decided what was funnier, Ms. C's diagnosis, or the looks of horror on the Betty's faces when they were confronted by something so repulsive to them. I know that Ms. C was having a bit of fun with them, but she never told them any different and I saw many of them slowly write that piece of information in their notebooks. I wonder how many of them refuse to have anal sex today for fear of losing bowel control.
Good night Ms. C, where ever you are.
posted by Bat at 9:10 PM
6 Comments:
too damn funny!
Heh! Poor things. They don't know what they're missing!
That's awesome. I have to answer questions about that all the time at work.
And I love lesbians, too.
I bet the look on their faces was priceless. Me? I'd have laughed like an idiot. But I'm like that.
That's an awesome story. I didn't know you were a nurse. I would have never, ever guessed that in a million years as your occupation. wow...
That was wicked funny!
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