Apolo Ohno I'm Not

I have become fascinated with hockey, that's no secret. I've been going to Predators games for a couple of years now and the athleticism these guys display impresses me. They seem more graceful on two thin blades of steel than most people do walking and yet when somebody gets out of position I have found myself thinking "I could have gotten to that puck."

Keep in mind, the last time I was on ice skates was around 1983. I skated for an hour and my ankles hurt for a solid week afterward.

One day last week I was surfing the Preds website and found a link for adult amateur hockey. A light bulb goes off and I say to myself "That sounds like fun!" One problem. See above. I'm pretty sure that my teammates would insist that I knew how to skate. So, on the same page, I find the open skate schedule for the same rink. Since I'm not working (buwahahahaha) yet, I decided on a whim to go ice skating today.

I was fairly tentative at first, holding onto the rink boards as I gingerly moved around the oval. As I gained a little more confidence, I let go of the boards and skated on my own. There were some bobbles and a lot of arm waving (I'm sure it looked like I was trying to land an airplane), but after a half hour or so, I thought I was starting to get the hang of it. Swish, swish, I was starting to enjoy the sound of my skates on the ice. I hadn't really master turning yet, but it wasn't a big deal since there were very few people skating.

Soon, I became over confident, I was starting to build up speed, swinging my arms like the speed skaters do and then......BOOM! I discovered the toe pick. I knew there was a difference between figure skates and hockey skates, but I didn't think to ask for hockey skates at the rental stand. If you happen to drag a figure skate, the toe pick bites into the ice and everything goes topsy turvy. Fifteen minutes later, when I had stopped spinning and sliding across the ice, I found myself spread eagled, laughing hysterically. I really had no idea what happened between the time when the toe pick found the ice and when the ice found me, but it was a hell of a ride. I bruised my hip a bit, but I got up and skated for another forty-five minutes. I think I like it. Of course if I really want to try to play hockey, I'm gonna have to get used to seeing the ice close up.