Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Way Back Wednesday

I'm starting a new tradition here at Bat Shit Crazy. I used to have another blog, but for various reasons, I ended up putting it aside and started this one. The Girlfriend suggested that I re-post some of the things that I have written in my new blog. So, I present to you Way Back Wednesday.



Originally posted April 3, 2005

What's In A Name?

I was married to a Catholic for 8 years. She referred to herself as a "C & E" Catholic and never really tried to get me involved in the church. After 6 or 7 years she decided that she wanted me to attend mass with her. I was reluctant at first, since I've never been a particularly religious person, but it was important to her so I acquiesced. The mass was confusing to me. It was nothing like the services I had been to as a child. When I was little, my parents would put me on the church bus and ship me off to Southern Baptist services every Sunday. Since I was not a complete moron, I began to suspect that there was an ulterior motive for my little Sunday trips because my parents never went. (I'm guessing they were just glad to have the rug rats out of the house for a couple of hours.) The fact that they never attended and the fire and brimstone sermons insured that the indoctrination never really got a solid hold on me. When I finally went to mass with my ex, I was impressed. Not really with the message, but with the ritual and symbolism. I was like a tourist. Things were going well and I was thinking that if she wanted me to attend more services, I would probably accommodate her. Then, as always, I screwed the pooch. It was during one of those pauses for quiet reflection that my pager went off. My pager never goes off, but I did at least have the foresight to set it on vibrate. Never the less, it startled me and my reflexive and very loud, Tourette's like "SHIT!" did not go over very well with the rest of the congregation. That was my last mass.

I thought about that little episode because John Paul II slipped off his mortal coil this weekend. All of the news websites included little side stories on how the new pope will be elected with John Paul's obituary. Again the ritual of the church fascinated me. Apparently, around a thousand years ago, the newly elected popes began to take new names upon taking on the responsibilities of the office. There have been numerous Leos, Gregorys, Johns, etc. The articles really don't go into detail about what kind of process each new pope goes through to chose his new name. I am under the impression that it is a personal decision and left up to the individual. I'm guessing that the Catholic clergy aren't overly imaginative because they seem to have run out of ideas, hence the combination of names, John Paul, with the last two popes. If the college of Cardinals have taken up reading my blog, I am offering my services for choosing the name for the next father of the Holy Roman Church. There is no fee. I'm not a greedy man. I'm just an agnostic that would like to help an ancient organized religion connect with the world of 2005. When the white smoke rises above the Vatican, I suggest that the new leader of the worlds largest religion be introduced as His Holiness Pope Elvis I.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good idea on Wednesdays!!

I like this story. It's one of those "this shit only happens to Mr. Wonderful" kind of tales.

Come back next Wednesday...

10:08 PM  
Blogger Stealth said...

wow...uh Roman Catholic over here.

I don't debate this stuff, you have valid points. I wish you could jump in my body during mass one time.

If I went regularly that is.

11:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember that time. I think my friend said something about how they'd never have a black pope cuz they're afraid of the originality if he calls himself Pope Doggy Dogg or something like that. Or maybe that was the discussion on how arbitrary the church allows self-naming to be.

12:12 AM  
Blogger Whine Girl said...

Pope doggie dog!!!

(holding my stomach)

9:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WHOA. You have xmas music on your website?! You HAVE gone bat poo crazae!

12:55 PM  
Blogger Whine Girl said...

Oh.. "mr.I'm too busy to blog because I have a new job but I had enough time to put Christmas music up on my site like a wanker after I told Jordan not to take Gnarls Barkely down because I like to hear him and it's the only reason I go to your site anyway dorkface"

You seriously need to be beaten.

FC!!

8:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"wanker"--lol!!!

11:48 PM  
Blogger Bat said...

Damn.

11:49 PM  

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