My Dad, My Hero

My Dad called me on my birthday. A lot of chit chat about how he is doing and feeling. He had open heart a few years back, the result of bad genetics and years of smoking. Pop begins to tell me about how his wife has him eating better and she makes sure he stays active and away from the smokes. I kinda drifted away from the conversation and thought about how lucky he was to find this one. I have already talked about the girlfriend he had that was arrested in front of his house, but I don't think I've mentioned his first date with her. Apparently, he forgot to tell the woman he was currently dating that he had decided to date Miss Mousy. He brought Miss Mousy back to his apartment to "watch some television" when he heard a knock at the door. Before he could answer, he heard yelled through the closed door that sounded like "Open up you sum bitch, I know you have some whore in there!"

I come from a long line of non-confrontational people. Rather than face the music, he yanked Miss Mousy off of the couch and shoved her out the back door. So, with the whore gone, did he then answer the door? According to him (and I don't know why he would tell his son this), he then hid in the closet. I did ask him why, and he mumble something about a pistol he had loaned her for protection, so I guess hiding was prudent. After spending several minutes in the closet contemplating his belly button, he heard a crash and the sound of breaking glass. Peaking out of the closet, he spied a fireplace log on his living room floor and a shower of glass underneath the window. He closed the closet door. Eventually, the sounds of sirens forced him out of the closet (no jokes please, he is my Dad). Peaking around the drapes, he was able to see that the police had made an appearance and where questioning the girl he had offended. Sneaky bastard then proceeded to leave his apartment out the same back door he had shoved Miss Mousy. Then he ambles around to the front of the complex and wanders up to the fracas. Mr. Smooth proceeds to win the Oscar for "Best Performance By A Chicken Shit Serial Dater When Faced With A Psycho Girlfriend." He tells the cops that he just got home and has no idea what's going on in front of his residence. Well, the neighbors knew and filled in John Q. Law. They hauled her away. Dad moved the next week. I don't think he ever got his pistol back.