Love Hurts
The week started off horrible. I guess I should break down the time line as I see it. To begin with, the girl friend has had a friend since high school. Her and this friend have an emotional bond that I have always accepted, but is not accepted by everyone. Her ex husband did not allow her to talk to this friend, so when the girlfriend and I started dating, she rekindled the friendship. I was completely ok with this relationship. The friend had a girlfriend and lived in Wisconsin. How much trouble could it be?
In the last few months, the friend ended the long term relationship and decided to move to Tennessee in the near future. A couple of weekends ago, the girlfriend had to go to Vegas for work. I couldn't go, so the girlfriend asked her friend to go. I didn't like it, but I didn't say anything because I wanted to trust her and didn't want to be the controlling boyfriend.
So the girlfriend returns from Vegas and breaks up with me. She lists several problems that she says she can't live with anymore and basically tells me I won't change and that our relationship has ended.
Monday morning, I get up for work and I'm making coffee. The girlfriends iTouch dings. She has an email. Now I admit, it was wrong, but I was hurting and suspicious. I looked at her email. On the 30th she exchanged emails with this friend basically describing how excited she was and how she couldn't wait to start a new relationship with this friend. All less than 48 hours after breaking up with me.
Naturally, I was crushed. To me it seems that this was planned. I was simply in the way, something old that had to be taken care of to make way for the new. I did my second immature thing in two hours and sent the friend an email describing the difficulties they will have. It was mean spirited, but the truth.
By that afternoon, while I regretted the email and the fact that I had sunk to new lows, I had begun to take solace in the fact that this was not about me. The girlfriend started an emotional relationship with somebody else. Our problems were the same problems we had always had, but now she had another person in her life and our problems became the excuse to break up. How else could I see it?
The rest of the week went fine. She was very considerate of me considering I was stuck where I wasn't wanted. She threw the friend label at me several times. We slept together every night.
She told her friends about her new relationship and about how we were getting along. Her friends told her that I was getting everything I wanted. I get out of the relationship and still have her company and her bed. I have to disagree. I feel she is getting everything she wants. She gets my company and a new relationship.
She is spending the weekend with her friend. I am left home alone to think and think and think and think. It's horrible.
She emails a friend of mine expressing concern. "Don't let him drive drunk." etc. She tells me that maybe she just needs time. I'm sure it was like a pat on the head. Something to console me while she is trying on her new relationship. I'm supposed to wait and see if this works for her, if it doesn't, I'm her fall back. That doesn't quite seem fair to me.
None of this really seems fair, but I can pound my fists against the wall and scream at the universe or I can accept my lot in life and open a new chapter. I'm putting a deposit down on a house for rent this weekend and plan to move by the end of the month. Then she will have her way and I can move on with my life.
In the last few months, the friend ended the long term relationship and decided to move to Tennessee in the near future. A couple of weekends ago, the girlfriend had to go to Vegas for work. I couldn't go, so the girlfriend asked her friend to go. I didn't like it, but I didn't say anything because I wanted to trust her and didn't want to be the controlling boyfriend.
So the girlfriend returns from Vegas and breaks up with me. She lists several problems that she says she can't live with anymore and basically tells me I won't change and that our relationship has ended.
Monday morning, I get up for work and I'm making coffee. The girlfriends iTouch dings. She has an email. Now I admit, it was wrong, but I was hurting and suspicious. I looked at her email. On the 30th she exchanged emails with this friend basically describing how excited she was and how she couldn't wait to start a new relationship with this friend. All less than 48 hours after breaking up with me.
Naturally, I was crushed. To me it seems that this was planned. I was simply in the way, something old that had to be taken care of to make way for the new. I did my second immature thing in two hours and sent the friend an email describing the difficulties they will have. It was mean spirited, but the truth.
By that afternoon, while I regretted the email and the fact that I had sunk to new lows, I had begun to take solace in the fact that this was not about me. The girlfriend started an emotional relationship with somebody else. Our problems were the same problems we had always had, but now she had another person in her life and our problems became the excuse to break up. How else could I see it?
The rest of the week went fine. She was very considerate of me considering I was stuck where I wasn't wanted. She threw the friend label at me several times. We slept together every night.
She told her friends about her new relationship and about how we were getting along. Her friends told her that I was getting everything I wanted. I get out of the relationship and still have her company and her bed. I have to disagree. I feel she is getting everything she wants. She gets my company and a new relationship.
She is spending the weekend with her friend. I am left home alone to think and think and think and think. It's horrible.
She emails a friend of mine expressing concern. "Don't let him drive drunk." etc. She tells me that maybe she just needs time. I'm sure it was like a pat on the head. Something to console me while she is trying on her new relationship. I'm supposed to wait and see if this works for her, if it doesn't, I'm her fall back. That doesn't quite seem fair to me.
None of this really seems fair, but I can pound my fists against the wall and scream at the universe or I can accept my lot in life and open a new chapter. I'm putting a deposit down on a house for rent this weekend and plan to move by the end of the month. Then she will have her way and I can move on with my life.
posted by Bat at 6:16 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home