Adventures In Travel:NYC edition

I only have myself to blame for the longest day of travel EVER! I guess I wasn't paying attention when I booked the flight from L.A. to NYC. Not only did I have a plane change in Tuscon, it then went to Chicago to take on more passengers! I left fairly early in the morning but with the three hour time change, I didn't get to my hotel until ten in the evening. I stayed at the Hudson on W. 58th Street and it was really nice. The lobby. The next day I slept in and then called my buddy Phillip. He said he was off and we could meet for lunch and beers and then later that night go to the Predators/Islanders game. He lived on the East side, so I left the hotel and walked over to Central Park to wait for him.

I met him at about noon and we went to a place called 1-2-3 Burger Shot Beer. It was three menus. Sliders, shots and beers. Pretty self explanatory. Well, numerous beers, several shots, and a couple of sliders later, we decided that we would just keep hanging out and getting our drink on until it was time for the game. But what to do in NYC in the middle of the day that was entertaining AND involved alcohol? Titties and steak! Ever since I can remember, the strip clubs in Memphis where I grew up would advertise the businessman's lunch special. Prime rib and two for one lap dances. I've heard about Scores in New York on Howard Stern's radio show,so off we go. Quite the hike, let me tell you. I'm sure the subway would have been quicker, but we were in no shape to figure out the maps. We are walking and walking and getting more and more and more jazzed about steak and titties. We finally reach our destination and what do we see? Closed. Denied! A quick check of yahoo maps showed that five blocks over there were two more strip clubs. Another walk, but worth it for titties and steak, right? Both of them closed. Apparently, in New York, the city never sleeps, but the strippers do. I couldn't believe it. Now I'm drunk, lost, in a strange city and my dreams of red meat and bare chests have been yanked away from me. We decide to keep drinking until game time, what else can we do?

So we find another bar and we are sitting there lamenting our mammary deficiency when we hit on an idea. Do we know anybody that would send us a picture of their assets? We scrambled to our phones. My options were very limited and just as I started to try to work my magic (sarcasm folks), my phone died (hence no more pictures from the rest of the day). Phillip was our only hope and he was trying to get his girlfriend to come through for us. I ordered another beer and was resigned to a life without steak and titties when Phillip tapped me on he shoulder and showed me his phone. I looked at the picture. Oh crap. I know that set.

I guess a little tangent is required here. I girl I work with has recently become single. She has targeted me and even though I have told her there is no interest on my end, she is quite rigorous in her pursuit. It doesn't take a genius to figure out how I've seen her assets.

But what do I say? It didn't seem likely that Phillip was really dating this girl, but last I heard he was was working on her for succor. Screw it. Subtle, I am not. "Dude, I know that chest, it belongs to xxxx xxxxxx!" He started laughing his ass off. "Has she been sending you pictures too? Man I have gotten some filthy stuff from her. She must surely be desperate." Before you judge us, remember that men are basically weak creatures with base needs. If Margaret Thatcher sent me a picture of her chesticles, who am I to tell her to stop? Anyway, we laughed our asses off at the expense of the poor girl for the next thirty minutes.

By this time, we needed to head out to Long Island for the hockey game. Let me tell you, if you glance at a map, Manhattan and Long Island look close in proximity, they aren't. A trip on the subway, the long island railroad, and ten a bus. An hour later we finally made. We bought some cheap tickets and settled in to our seats. It wasn't a very good game. The Islander's arena is shitty to put it mildly and the Predators played horribly. They lost the game and we had to make the long trip back. Lucky for us, they sell beer on the train platforms. Barley pops always make disappointment go down easier.

The next day I woke up to a voicemail on my phone. Southwest airlines had called, my flight for the next day had been canceled due to inclement weather. What??!!??! I looked out the window. HUGE fat snowflakes were falling. About three inches had already accumulated. I looked at the weather channel. They were expected about a foot. All of the airports up and down the Atlantic seaboard had been shut down. I got dressed and went back to Central Park. Holy cow it was beautiful!I walked around the park for an hour or so enjoying the fat snow flakes. It was like something from a postcard. There were dozens of snow men, the kids were sledding, dogs were chasing snowballs. It was worth the entire trip. Unfortunately, I didn't have the proper clothing. I was wearing my running shoes and they were soaked through and through and I was freezing.

I stumbled back toward the hotel and decided to stop and a place called The Coliseum. I don't know if this place was supposed to be an Irish pub, but both bartenders were Irish, the guy sitting next to me was Irish, and the coffees and the Shepard's pie were surely Irish. I swear they were speaking English, but I only understood every third word. It was the perfect ending to my snow day. That night, I went to Madison Square Garden to watch the predators play the Rangers. I was like night and day compare to the Nassau Coliseum where the Islanders played. A beautiful building, a great crowd and the Preds eked out a win. Thursday, I had no plans. I was not prepared for an extra day so I went down to times square to buy some more clothes. The city wasted no time clearing the snow. I went back to Central Park one more time and took a couple of pictures. I spent the rest of the day just walking around an checking things out. The next day was another travel day. It took forever to get home, but overall, I had a fantastic vacation.