Why I Couldn't Sleep Last Night
This is a text that was sent to me last night. It's obviously taken out of context, but it shook me up.
"I love you very much. There is not one moment I have spent with you that I see as anything other than cherished. We are definitely two of a kind and I will never let us drift apart again. Regardless of who each of us may date in he interim until we can be together, I will not let them come between me and you."
Holy cow! I love this girl, always have, but she broke my heart when we were both really young. We are separated by distance and circumstance, but even if she lived next door, I'm not sure how I would deal with this statement. By "until we can be together" she means two or three years down the road. I don't think I can put myself through the pain and anxiety of a long distance relationship for that long, particularly when she makes it clear that there will be others until our time comes.
I know she cares, but I think we are at different points in the spectrum. Should I open my heart up to her? I feel a world of hurt coming down the line. Wonder why I'm having trouble sleeping?
"I love you very much. There is not one moment I have spent with you that I see as anything other than cherished. We are definitely two of a kind and I will never let us drift apart again. Regardless of who each of us may date in he interim until we can be together, I will not let them come between me and you."
Holy cow! I love this girl, always have, but she broke my heart when we were both really young. We are separated by distance and circumstance, but even if she lived next door, I'm not sure how I would deal with this statement. By "until we can be together" she means two or three years down the road. I don't think I can put myself through the pain and anxiety of a long distance relationship for that long, particularly when she makes it clear that there will be others until our time comes.
I know she cares, but I think we are at different points in the spectrum. Should I open my heart up to her? I feel a world of hurt coming down the line. Wonder why I'm having trouble sleeping?
posted by Bat at 8:00 PM
8 Comments:
That's a tough one. I think I'd just be annoyed honestly.
If the genders were reversed, a girl would call the cops when receiving something like this, and instantly nickname him on her blog as Creepy Stalker Guy. Don't let someone else's regrets or irrational emotions dictate your life. If you're not feeling it or you have a gut instinct of pensiveneess, trust YOUR gut. You look out for you, just as she's only looking out for her. And doesn't this chick have a bf right now?
Lol. I guess the text was a tad more out of context than even I thought. I think I'd mentioned before that our time had come and gone, it's just nice to hear that sometimes people realize their mistakes, even if it is twenty years down the road. So often, we never really get closure on relationships that don't go right. Did I lose sleep thinking about the what ifs and such? Sure, but somebody once said to me "timing is everything." So let's assume that I would want to get back together with her. Yes she has a boyfriend, one she has been dating for several years. Not gonna go down that path, I have way to much respect for myself. I don't need to poach somebody else's girlfriend, how could I respect myself if I did something like that. Also, she lives a fair distance away. I'm not moving where she lives that's for sure, and she isn't going to move, she has a 15 year old son, a great job, and a bunch of family that she is responsible for watching after. Put all of those things aside, would I want to risk putting myself through all of that again? Probably not. I am older and through recent events, much wiser. Trust will be a hard thing to get from me for quite some time and what has she done for me to trust her? My trust used to be given freely, but by golly, you are gonna have to earn it now. When it's all said and done, I know there is no future there, but it's still nice to hear "I love you" and know that somebody means it.
The first 2 lines are fine and reflect what you stated. The next line...gray area. The 4th line is the problem. She's basically said that you and she WILL be together in a relationship again and everyone else until then is just passing time.
But I'm glad to see you've given the reality of the situation and potential situation a great deal of thought. You're less likely to do something stupid you'd regret that way.
I would never complicate somebody's life like that Cindy. I care to much about her to complicate her life not to mention that even though I don't know her boyfriend, he certainly doesn't deserve that, nobody does. Even tho me asking her to go to NYC was definately just as a friend in my mind, later, after thinking about it, I realized how wrong it was to ask and apologized.
As for the two of us being in a relationship, I don't think either one of us really sees that happening. It just isn't meant to be, but we will always care about each other and I think that's ok. I'm sure I can explain it better this weekend and you will give me an objective view point.
If that's true, then the last sentence of her text doesn't make sense. Unless she's talking about the next lifetime.
Didn't you also ask Jordan (who also has a live-in bf) to go w/you to NY?
Sheesh, you are really making me feel guilty. Jordan? Are you out there? I'm sorry for asking if you wanted to go to NYC. Hey, Cindy, what are you doing next week? Go to NYC with me.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
BTW, Jordan hasn't even visited MY blog in like a decade so she's likely not reading this, either. I noticed the other day that she's SUCH a bad blogger that her blog's been reabsorbed into the matrix.
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