Why I Am Annoying
I have been fairly mischievous this week. I don't know why. Sometimes I think I channel Dennis the menace.
Let me just say, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get fired from my job. I have on separate occasions mooned co-workers, I have man-handled the director's chest (she was extremely worried that I would not be impressed by what I felt), and at one time pulled a scrub tech's pants down around her ankles while she was prepping for a sterile procedure. Some might call it juvenile, I call 'em like I see 'em. I'm flat out immature at times. I can't help it, my brain is cross wired.
Yesterday, I thought I did something particularly inspired. The doctor I work with has a bad habit of leaving his cell phone on the counter outside the procedure room and walking away. He just got this phone and it's one of those with all of the bells and whistles. Naturally, I can't keep my hands off of it. I pulled it out, flipped it open and notice that he had a picture of his kids set as the wall paper. This WILL NOT DO!!!! I took my last dollar and went to the vending machine. What luck! A Baby Ruth!
I took my candy bar into the bathroom, unwrapped it, and dumped it into the crapper. There it was, in all of it's fecal like glory, floating at the bottom of the toilet. A few pieces of t.p. to add a touch of realism and I had a scene perfect for a still life photo.
I snapped several pictures and then chose the most realistic one. That became the new wallpaper for his phone. He never liked those damn kids anyway.
He has yet to comment on it. I'm sure that he suspects me and I am waiting for the hammer to fall. It might be time to update that resume.
That leads me to the secondary topic of this post. I somehow convinced a woman to take a weekend trip with me to St. Louis. We are gonna take in the sights, go to Six Flags and then on that Saturday I have great tickets to the Cardinal-Yankees game. After one date, this poor soul agreed to spend three days trapped with me. Everyone should keep on eye on CNN the weekend of June 11. I wouldn't be surprised if they were reporting a gruesome murder in St. Louis. The lead in will probably be along the lines of "Man dies in St. Louis after having a foot shoved in his ass."
Let me just say, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get fired from my job. I have on separate occasions mooned co-workers, I have man-handled the director's chest (she was extremely worried that I would not be impressed by what I felt), and at one time pulled a scrub tech's pants down around her ankles while she was prepping for a sterile procedure. Some might call it juvenile, I call 'em like I see 'em. I'm flat out immature at times. I can't help it, my brain is cross wired.
Yesterday, I thought I did something particularly inspired. The doctor I work with has a bad habit of leaving his cell phone on the counter outside the procedure room and walking away. He just got this phone and it's one of those with all of the bells and whistles. Naturally, I can't keep my hands off of it. I pulled it out, flipped it open and notice that he had a picture of his kids set as the wall paper. This WILL NOT DO!!!! I took my last dollar and went to the vending machine. What luck! A Baby Ruth!
I took my candy bar into the bathroom, unwrapped it, and dumped it into the crapper. There it was, in all of it's fecal like glory, floating at the bottom of the toilet. A few pieces of t.p. to add a touch of realism and I had a scene perfect for a still life photo.
I snapped several pictures and then chose the most realistic one. That became the new wallpaper for his phone. He never liked those damn kids anyway.
He has yet to comment on it. I'm sure that he suspects me and I am waiting for the hammer to fall. It might be time to update that resume.
That leads me to the secondary topic of this post. I somehow convinced a woman to take a weekend trip with me to St. Louis. We are gonna take in the sights, go to Six Flags and then on that Saturday I have great tickets to the Cardinal-Yankees game. After one date, this poor soul agreed to spend three days trapped with me. Everyone should keep on eye on CNN the weekend of June 11. I wouldn't be surprised if they were reporting a gruesome murder in St. Louis. The lead in will probably be along the lines of "Man dies in St. Louis after having a foot shoved in his ass."
posted by Bat at 11:05 PM
2 Comments:
Your actions do sound somewhat annoying, but I am sure people enjoy the entertainment factor.
Hope the trip goes well. Of course, you're not a Yankee fan, right? I would seriously need to reconsider reading your site if you are.
No. I was born in a little town North of St. Louis so I am a natural Cardinal fan. I plan to watch them defeat the Evil Empire that Saturday.
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