Is There A Doctor In The House?

I know you can't really see it, but I have this rash on both of my legs from the ankles to the knees. I ignored it for a couple of weeks, but then yesterday I noticed it on my arms. I made the mistake of showing it to a couple of nurses and we diagnosed it as secondary syphilis! I'm going to see a dermatologist today before it gets to my package.

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*****Edit: The doctor says I have "Schamberg's disease." Sounds impressive doesn't it? At least nothing is gonna fall off. Oh, and if you slept with me in the last 5 years or so.......well.......seems you are off the hook. Both of you.