Misspent Youth

In the fall of 1987, I was a sophomore at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville. Three of my fraternity brothers and I had moved out of the dorms into a ramshackle house on the edge of Fort Sanders on the corner of 13th Street and Forest Ave. Jorge and I shared a room and a proclivity for drinking beer and blowing off class. Most of my classes were on the hill (the original campus) which was a moderate walk from our new digs.

Across the street from our home in the hood was a joint called "Vatican Pizza" which was known primarily for three things. A lit bust of Elvis Presley on the counter top, the place was run by a band call "Jesus Chrysler" (when I google the name now, I find a band based in Minnesota, I don't think they are the same), and the best damn calzones to be found in K-town.

On Tuesdays, the only class I had was my chemistry lab at six in the evening. A sure recipe for disaster. Jorge would blow of his morning classes (by morning I mean noon or so, Jorge didn't last long at UT), we would get a twelve pack of Busch and a couple of calzones from the Vatican and spend the afternoon playing Risk on the front porch.

One such Tuesday, I had my fill of beer and getting my ass kicked playing a stupid board game and actually decided to attend my chemistry lab. I grabbed my barely used backpack, threw my last empty at Jorge and walked toward class with the sound of "Have fun, sucker!" ringing in my ears.

I made my way to Beuhler Hall (believe it or not, Beuhler was either next to or in front of Ferris Hall, I don't remember which) where my lab partner was just as surprised to see me as I was to be there. I don't remember much of the chemistry, but there was something about an experiment with strong acids and strong bases and the end result was an eruption from a beaker that ate my lab partners workbook and burned holes in his clothes.

Moral of the story, beer and chemistry do not mix. I wonder what ever happened to my lab partner? Hell, I wonder what ever became of Jorge.