My Liver Needs A Vacation

I'm back from our cruise (obviously). For a more detailed breakdown of our vacation, visit The Girlfriend's blog. I prefer to focus on the more important aspects of the trip, beer!!! The first stop was Barbados and the locally brewed Banks beer. We went to a bar called "The Boat Yard" and I quickly downed three with my flying fish sandwich. I'd love to tell you what it tasted like, but after I fell off of the iceberg five or six times, the concussions began to take their toll. I'm sure it is a fine tasting beer.
The next stop was St. Lucia. The Girlfriend did some heavy duty shopping on this island due to the overcast skies. I found a little bar next to the jewelry store that she was terrorizing and began to pound back the local brew, Piton. Again, I'd love to give you a detailed review of the taste, but my brain was numb from answering questions like "Which looks better? The pink mother of pearl? Or the white mother of pearl with diamonds?" So, St. Lucia and Piton beer is pretty much a blur. Making our way to Antigua, we decided to hang out on the beach. We ended up in front of Sneaky Pete's where I drank a few Wadadlis. I fell asleep on the beach after the first few and everybody knows that if you don't give your short term memory time to process information into your long term memory, you are left with no memory. So once again, all I can tell you about Wadadli beer is that it contains alcohol. Next was St. Maarten. I don't think Carib is brewed on the island, but after a morning of sailing (see the picture at the top of this post, toward the bow on the starboard side sit The Girlfriend and I) the two for one happy hour at "The Greenhouse" was a blessing. I vaguely remember that Carib goes very well with the black bean soup that they serve. In St. Thomas, I spent all day snorkeling and drinking rum punch so I never got a chance to sample Blackbeard Ale before stumbling back to the cruise ship. I'm sure it's a fine beer.

So there you go. You can either read The Girlfriend's version of events which centers around details like sand, surf and quality time together, or you can just take my word for it when I say that it's all about the beer.

This Killin' Time Is Killin' Me

Well, The Girlfriend and I started our vacation today. I'm all packed and ready to leave on our cruise tomorrow. Seven days, nothing but food, booze and sleep. (A gentleman doesn't mention other activities that might disparage a young ladies reputation.) Now we are just watching the clock until time to go to the airport. I never sleep well the night before air travel. Dunno why, that's just the way it is. Oh, if you want to see a bad ass ride, check out The Girlfriend's blog. 260 horses in a little scooter frame! I drove it a bit, you can chirp the tires in the first three gears and when the turbo boost really starts to build, the g-forces pin you back in your seat. Supposedly the thing will keep pace with a Porsche Boxster or a Mustang GT. I believe it. I'm glad it isn't my car, I'd have it wrapped around a telephone pole the first week.

See you on the flip side.

What?

I had some free movie tickets given to me for donating blood. When I asked The Girlfriend what she wanted to see she replied "I'd really like to see that 'Live Free Or Die Hard' movie." Great for me! The first and third Die Hard movies were supah and I knew there would be plenty of killing and car crashes and explosions. We get to the theater, find our seats and during the previews she tells me that she has never seen the other Die Hard movies. Who wants to see the fourth movie in a series when they haven't seen the first three? Lucky for her, the basic premise isn't to hard to follow. I thought it was a pretty good flick. Especially for free. I think she enjoyed it as well. Next she will be wanting to see "Rocky Balboa" and I know she hasn't seen the first four movies.

You Bitch! You Slut! You Whore!

Time for the weekly update. I'm sure the title of this post sounds very titillating, but the reality is pretty mundane. The Girlfriend suggested that we go to a new bar on Broadway called The Big Bang. Turns out the place is a dueling piano bar. Not familiar with the concept? Me either. It ended up being a LOT of fun. They put a couple of pianos up on the stage and two jokers tickle the ivories taking requests and cracking jokes. By midnight the place had turned into one big sing along and that is when my disconnect with the current bar scene became apparent. In college, when Hank Williams would come on the juke box we'd sing along adding words after the chorus. C'mon, you know you've heard it. "Hank why do you drink? To get drunk! Why do you roll smoke? To get stoned! Why must you live out the songs that you wrote? To get laid!" Well, at The Big Bang they have taken this concept and run with it. The whole deal is very audience participation oriented. I dunno if they came up with it (probably not) but when they sang Kenny Rogers' song "Lucille" and got to the line "You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille" they paused and the audience screamed out "YOU BITCH, YOU SLUT, YOU WHORE!" Needless to say, I was delighted with another opportunity to curse out loud. A bar like that makes my Tourette's so much more acceptable. Oh, and when did open cell phones replace lighters at concerts? I like that idea. Now I can regrow my mullet without fear of my head becoming a fire ball.

So that has been my weekend so far. Now I'm just trying to recover because The Girlfriend claims that we are going to an aerobics class this afternoon. Now, leave me alone, I have to rehydrate.