Happy Hanukkah

I've had very few friends that were Jewish, but they have provided me a good chuckle on several occasions, usually at the expense of a ignorant redneck.

A few years back, I worked with a doctor that happened to be Jewish. A very nice guy that certainly didn't broadcast his faith or make an issue of it. My very first day on the job, another nurse pulled me aside and whispered into my ear in ominous tones "He is Jewish you know." I didn't know her from Adam, but she felt the need to try and peg this guy as something different. Her voice carried the impression that this doctor would try to eat my first born given the chance.

I very quickly learned how ignorant this girl was. Shortly after I started working there, Yom Kippur rolled around. The doctor skipped lunch with us which caused some questions. At first, I thought the inquisitiveness was healthy. She asked something that caused him to explain to us that Yom Kippur was one of the more significant holidays in the Jewish tradition and was a day of atonement observed by, among other things, fasting.

It went downhill from there. Rather than just trying to understand what he was telling us and learning about somebody different, she tried to equate everything to the Christian tradition. The first comparison came with Hanukkah and Christmas. I think her statement was "So, Hanukkah is the Jewish Christmas." A statement, not a question. His reply was "Um, no. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of your savior. Hanukkah celebrates the re dedication of a Jewish temple." I'm sure I was grinning ear to ear by now, but she wasn't finished. "Then Yom Kippur is the Jewish Easter." Again, a statement, not a question. I think I laughed out loud. "No, Easter is the observance of the death and resurrection of Christ. Yom Kippur is our day of atonement (I'm sure his explanation was more detailed, but I was laughing to hard to hear most of it.)." She looked a little puzzled at this, but pressed on with her line of questioning. "So when do you celebrate Jesus Christ?" At this point, I was embarrassed for her and had to leave the room while the doctor not only patiently explained Judaism to her, but then had to explain Christianity to her.

So the Jewish doctor was always a good sport. Once, we all travelled to Miami for a conference. We hadn't been there long and were eating on a boardwalk and I noticed a couple of Orthodox Jews walking along the beach. They stood out for obvious reasons. Wearing all black, beards, yarmulkes, and the small aprons at their waists. I didn't say anything at first, but then I began to notice more and more of these individuals until I realized they were everywhere. I finally turned to him and ask (because I know sometimes I'm ignorant) "I've noticed a lot of orthodox Jews on the beach. Is there a holiday or religious meeting happening?" He looked around, like he just noticed it, and turned back to me with a grin and said "Nope, the tribe just likes Miami." I almost laughed fish taco out of my nose.

The best was yet to come. The ignorant nurse had brought her boyfriend and believe it or not, I think he was more ignorant than she was. He caught wind of our conversation and decided to chime in with his intelligent comment. "I was wondering why there were so many Amish here." I was speechless, but the doctor was on his game. "Yeah, Pennsylvania to Miami is a long trip by horse and buggy."

I stifled the laugh this time, shook my head and finished my beer.