One Week
Today is the tenth of the month. There is no rush to be the first to say it, there is no warm glow as I'm reminded of what it means. It's just another day.
I haven't really talked to her in a week. Last Thursday night we were chatting on Face Book pretty late and she invited me over for one last fling before she moved her friend down for the weekend. Even though I had to work the next day, I began collecting my keys and wallet and such. Anything for her as usual.
Suddenly she started typing furiously about a one time mutual friend of ours. I had recently added the friend on Face Book. Immediately the accusations began to fly. She went of the deep end, saying I had stolen her friend, she always knew there was something between us, etc. At first I went into defensive mode, trying to talk her through it. Reassuring her. She kept on and on, each sentence more hurtful and cruel than the last. It confuses me even more because I don't know why she cares. She made her choice. She complains and says "You aren't the only one hurting." Maybe, but I'm the only one that was dumped for somebody else. She can't take that away from me.
This went on for five minutes or so before I reached a breaking point. "I don't have to put up with this anymore!" and logged out of the chat without waiting for a reply. My phone rang seconds later. I didn't answer it. She sent me a text "I wish u wouldn't hang up on me. All I wanted was to give u that one last night that you asked for." Maybe I did ask for another night from her, but I didn't ask to be treated like shit while I'm trying to cope with what has happened to me in the last month. She then texts that "You don't tell people you love them then be hateful." Really?
I spent the next couple of hours talking to a friend, trying to understand why the ex is the way she is. No real resolution, but around one in the morning I was at least calm enough to go to sleep. The next day I deleted her as a friend from my Face Book. She texted me asking why. I told her "I'm pissed. You are not allowed to talk to me the way you did last night. I'm sick of it. Who I see, who I talk to, who I fuck is none of your business." It was the first time in a month that I could find my balls.
She asked me to re friend her. I don't think I can. At least not right now. I know her. She has this compulsion to check up on people from her past. I'm not really worried about her knowing what I am doing, but I don't want anymore drama. Particularly from somebody that doesn't want me. As for me? I really don't want to know how happy she is without me. Why torture myself?
I'm trying to stay busy. I had beers with a buddy last night, I'm going to Live On The Green tonight to see Here Come The Mummys, and Saturday I'm going to the UT/UCLA game. In the meantime, I'm just gonna try to get through the tenth of the month and not think to much.
I haven't really talked to her in a week. Last Thursday night we were chatting on Face Book pretty late and she invited me over for one last fling before she moved her friend down for the weekend. Even though I had to work the next day, I began collecting my keys and wallet and such. Anything for her as usual.
Suddenly she started typing furiously about a one time mutual friend of ours. I had recently added the friend on Face Book. Immediately the accusations began to fly. She went of the deep end, saying I had stolen her friend, she always knew there was something between us, etc. At first I went into defensive mode, trying to talk her through it. Reassuring her. She kept on and on, each sentence more hurtful and cruel than the last. It confuses me even more because I don't know why she cares. She made her choice. She complains and says "You aren't the only one hurting." Maybe, but I'm the only one that was dumped for somebody else. She can't take that away from me.
This went on for five minutes or so before I reached a breaking point. "I don't have to put up with this anymore!" and logged out of the chat without waiting for a reply. My phone rang seconds later. I didn't answer it. She sent me a text "I wish u wouldn't hang up on me. All I wanted was to give u that one last night that you asked for." Maybe I did ask for another night from her, but I didn't ask to be treated like shit while I'm trying to cope with what has happened to me in the last month. She then texts that "You don't tell people you love them then be hateful." Really?
I spent the next couple of hours talking to a friend, trying to understand why the ex is the way she is. No real resolution, but around one in the morning I was at least calm enough to go to sleep. The next day I deleted her as a friend from my Face Book. She texted me asking why. I told her "I'm pissed. You are not allowed to talk to me the way you did last night. I'm sick of it. Who I see, who I talk to, who I fuck is none of your business." It was the first time in a month that I could find my balls.
She asked me to re friend her. I don't think I can. At least not right now. I know her. She has this compulsion to check up on people from her past. I'm not really worried about her knowing what I am doing, but I don't want anymore drama. Particularly from somebody that doesn't want me. As for me? I really don't want to know how happy she is without me. Why torture myself?
I'm trying to stay busy. I had beers with a buddy last night, I'm going to Live On The Green tonight to see Here Come The Mummys, and Saturday I'm going to the UT/UCLA game. In the meantime, I'm just gonna try to get through the tenth of the month and not think to much.
posted by Bat at 8:55 AM
5 Comments:
wagers on UCLA!
Way to go! Glad you found your boys. From an episode of Seinfield - "Now YOU have hand."
You're on Cindy!
Way to go Bat!!!!! Keep walking away and don't turn back....
You also have to wonder though why she was giving you one last fling. I'll bet she was feeling bad and wanted to fix things in her mind so she didn't feel as guilty. Don't give her the luxury of assuaging her own guilt. She has made her bed, now she has to lay in it....
So proud of you. No one would fault you for giving in. But that day, you stood your ground. Keep asking yourself if this is worth it. Your like a fish on a line to her.
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