Well, Ok Then.....
I learned a few things yesterday. The more I've learned, the less I am convinced that breaking up had anything to do with me. The new friend is the tip of the ice berg.
I've always wanted her to trust me, she never has. This isn't just a perception, it's fact. For the first two years we were together, she would flat out tell me "No, I don't trust you." Yesterday she told me some things, some things that had nothing to do with me. She had her own reasons for telling me, but I feel like I'm either being tested, or she is trying to see if she can trust me. Why do I care? I don't know, but I told her I would hold on to the information. I don't see why I would do otherwise. She knows I disagree with the path she is taking, but I'm hardly objective. I try not to lecture or advise, it isn't my place, but she is on slippery slope in my opinion and the fall for her will be hard. I'm glad that I'm being taken out of a position to have to deal with what is to come, but I still don't understand why she is walking this path.
She has completely redefined our relationship. It seems, at least in the short term, I will still be a part of her life, just no where near the center that I'm used to being. I fully expect this to change, but I hope that it doesn't for a while. I think I've said it before, she can still be my best friend at times and I'm not sure I'm ready to lose that as well.
I have a little over forty-eight hours left here. I just need to hang on to my sanity that much longer.
I've always wanted her to trust me, she never has. This isn't just a perception, it's fact. For the first two years we were together, she would flat out tell me "No, I don't trust you." Yesterday she told me some things, some things that had nothing to do with me. She had her own reasons for telling me, but I feel like I'm either being tested, or she is trying to see if she can trust me. Why do I care? I don't know, but I told her I would hold on to the information. I don't see why I would do otherwise. She knows I disagree with the path she is taking, but I'm hardly objective. I try not to lecture or advise, it isn't my place, but she is on slippery slope in my opinion and the fall for her will be hard. I'm glad that I'm being taken out of a position to have to deal with what is to come, but I still don't understand why she is walking this path.
She has completely redefined our relationship. It seems, at least in the short term, I will still be a part of her life, just no where near the center that I'm used to being. I fully expect this to change, but I hope that it doesn't for a while. I think I've said it before, she can still be my best friend at times and I'm not sure I'm ready to lose that as well.
I have a little over forty-eight hours left here. I just need to hang on to my sanity that much longer.
posted by Bat at 6:21 AM
1 Comments:
Bat, you have to let people fall if that is the road they are going to take, however you can't wait around for that fall and then pick up the pieces, otherwise people will never learn from their mistakes. She had made a firm decision, so let the cards fall as they may. You will be OK, you have to move on for your own sanity. Take care.
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