Last

Tonight is my last night in her house. I'm only half packed and that pisses her off. I keep looking at her and that pisses her off. I'm pretty sure my existance pisses her off. Three short weeks. That's all it has been and now I'm moving out, never to share a roof with her again.

I don't know what I expected. Maybe a laugh, maybe a tear. I was pretty much ignored the entire time we were here together tonight.

I thought about writing her a letter, but I can barely read my own hand writing and heaven knows I wouldn't want to subject her to it. In this letter, I thought I'd tell her how much I love her and how much I'll miss her, but she's tired of hearing it.

I thought I'd tell her all of the old cliches, the ones that somebody always says in a break up. Nobody will ever care for you the way I did. You will regret leaving me. You are making the worst mistake of your life. You will never have anybody like me. But, we would both know that none of it's true.

I wanted to tell her thanks for everything. Thanks for letting me show her new places and new things. Thanks for making me the center of her world. Thanks for being the center of mine. She has other concerns now. The things I would be thanking her for are ancient history to her. She can only see ahead and has no time to dwell on the past.

I don't feel I was treated fairly, but who does? It's the same old story, repeated a thousand times in a thousand different places every day on this planet. One moves ahead, one is always left behind. The one left behind never understands and the one that moves ahead doesn't care.

I am spent and I'm tired of being told that I look tired. Hopefully, things will get better for me. I hope I can be as happy as she is one day.